The Spiritual Doldrums

Sailors in the tropics are familiar with the doldrums, an equatorial zone where the winds fail and the sails hang listless. The doldrums are dangerous. When the wind fails the ship wallows helplessly in the sea, forward motion is impossible, drinking water becomes dangerously low and the stores of food begin to vanish. At the worst the end could be death, at the best a freshet of wind springs up and deliverance is at hand. The spiritual equivalent is described by Teresa of Avila. She says, “At other times I find myself unable to formulate a single definite thought, other than quite a fleeting one, about God, or about anything good, or to engage in prayer, even when I am alone; yet none the less I feel that I know Him.” (The Life of Teresa of Jesus, Image Books, Ch. XXX). Even in the doldrums she holds fast her faith in her Lord.

It is comforting to know that even an experienced saint like Teresa who has received so many spiritual favours and visions, still goes through times of spiritual aridity and confusion. Part of the genius of Teresa is her incessant introspection, an introspection which at its best leads her into deeper knowledge both of God and herself, but at other times can drive her into deep depression. What tends to happen in the midst of the spiritual doldrums is that those with less experience and insight than Teresa drift mindlessly without the wind of the Spirit. This may go on not just for a few hours, or for few days, but for endless weeks. The doldrums make nonsense of the naïve Pelagian view that we can lift ourselves to God by our own spiritual bootstraps. The first thing we need to pray for in the doldrums is the gift and grace of introspection in the presence of the Lord. In the doldrums only the wind of grace will fill the sails.

What is not immediately apparent is that during all of this Teresa is living not in isolation, but in community. In community she is called to exercise leadership and authority; but also in the extended community of the Church she herself accepts, even seeks out the leadership and authority of her confessors, who are not always constructive in their criticism of her, yet still she persists. With humility she submits her habitual introspection both to her confessors and to the doctrine of the Church knowing that unchecked introspection can be dangerous.

For us the development of the practice of introspection can take several avenues. One of the basic methods is working out our feelings in a spiritual journal. Addressing each entry to the Lord is one way of keeping ourselves not only honest, but also fair with ourselves as well as with others. Rereading journal entries after the times of distress cool down can be very instructive. God had once observed that it is not good for man to be alone. Isolation is spiritually dangerous. Find someone to share with, if not a confessor or spiritual guide, then some other faithful Christian, or even a small group that can walk the journey with you.

Teresa is also sustained by the daily cycle of prayer within the community. The rhythm of the Hours of Prayer, the frequency of Eucharist, her persistent habit of recollection, thatr running dialogue with her Lord, weave together a background that stabilizes and balances her life of prayer, and in the doldrums keep her feet in motion even when her mind is running on disconnect. She knows from long experience that it is necessary to hold one's soul aloft to God that He may pour His blessing upon it. When you are in the spiritual doldrums tend to the basics and work on the discipline of praying one daily office a day.

It is significant that Teresa does not solely lay the blame for the doldrums on herself, or even on some vague and nebulous outside circumstances but clearly and specifically identifies the source for the doldrums as a function of spiritual warfare. Learn to detect the scent of brimstone. There is a deceiver who seeks to steal our joy and lead us away from our security in Christ Jesus. One of the enemy's most successful gambits in our modern age is the inculcation of a subtle scepticism that denies the reality of his presence. When that fails, he goes to the other extreme and attempts to instil fear, but greater is He who is in you, than he who is in the world. In Teresa's experience when the enemy is seen and countered by prayer or by a simple sacramental act like making the sign of the cross, the enemy flees to await a more opportune time.

There is another dimension to the spiritual doldrums, but one that is unlike the doldrums feared by those who sail the southern seas. Spiritual doldrums, while they must be met and dealt with are also part of the normal rhythm of spiritual life. Spiritual life has its ups and downs and the rhythm is not to be feared, but understood. While is important to deal with the doldrums, sometimes we take ourselves to seriously. When the wind lags in the sails sometimes the solution is to pick up a good book, listen to some uplifting music, or fill your mind with visions of beauty, then take time to do one of the daily offices and thank God for all his good gifts.