Life is sometimes complicated, and a number of personal factors have
let me to heavily revise this article since it was first published in July.
Those of you who read the original will find the revision helpful.
The “Enlarged Heart” and Times of Crisis
There are
seasons in life when nothing seems to be going right! At least, that’s the way
it feels. In times of stress it’s hard to overcome the emotional spill-off from
a crisis that for the moment seems so overwhelming. At those times it is
important to refocus, to return to praying the Offices; even when our current
circumstances may make it difficult to keep our mind on our prayers. It may be
that praying an Office, is for the moment, beyond our ability, and all that is
left to us is an act of surrender. Start where you are and move on.
Our God knows us, and loves us; and
understands the stresses raised by the various conflicts that surround us. He
knows our plight, not from a distance, but from His Incarnation and
participation in our human life.
Teresa of Avila renders Psalm
119:32 as “I will run in the way of thy commandments when “thou dids’t enlarge
my heart”. On a practical and personal
level that is often the issue when we face various crises as the children of God
our Father. In times of stress and crisis we have a natural tendency to do the
exact opposite and withdraw instead of opening up. We huddle around our hearts
protectively as though by withdrawing we could preserve ourselves.
In a crisis
the Divine Potter batters our hearts seeking a way for us to relax the death
grip we have on our inner being. We
resist! We would rather treasure other commands such as, “Guard your heart with
all diligence for out of it spring the issues of life” (Proverbs 4:23). We would even guard ourselves against the
intrusion of Him who made us and seeks to make us still.
When life batters us we resist with
an inner clenching motion seeking to control the very thing that we should be
surrendering. “No man can ransom
himself” (Psalm 49:7 RSV), says the Psalmist.
I am not my own kinsman redeemer, nor can I be yours. That is a spiritual reality for many reasons;
but that doesn’t stop us from trying to be our own Saviors, and a times trying
to be the Savior of others. Part of what is going on at such times is our own need
to control. The truth is that we are not in charge, and all of our emotionally
panicky responses don’t really help.
In the midst of the battering of
life reverse the inner motion, relax into God’s hands. As you do so you will discover not the
battering you have been trying to control, but the very gentleness of your
loving Father remolding you. “He does
not willingly afflict or grieve the children of men” (Lamentations 3:33).
It is all
well and good to give such advice, following it is another matter. When we are at sea on a storm tossed boat our
every instinct of self-preservation is sharpened. We look wildly about; we bail like crazy. But the Master of the Storms says, “I am.
Fear not, peace be still.” Relaxing into
Him takes courage. Courage is a matter
of the heart; a conscious decision and action undertaken in the face of
fear. Deliberately we fix our eyes on
Christ Jesus, and by an act of will, we slow down our breathing and relax. “All is well, all is well. All manner of things shall be well,” when we
trust in Christ Jesus.
Everyone
experiences moments of crisis. A crisis
is just a crisis. For the Christian each
crisis is an opportunity to deepen our trust in Him. A crisis is like a hot potato. When you find you are holding one, put it
down on your plate. Relax into his
hands. When trust is re-established He
will help you undertake, “Peace, be still.”
There is
another dimension not be ignored. Some
people when faced with crises retreat into denial and projection, and do their
best to relieve their own repressed internal tension by passing the hot potato
on to others. Don’t accept a crisis that is passed on to you by others. They
too need to learn their own surrenders.
For others the creation of crises
is an attention seeking device. Some
just seem to be wired wrong from birth.
Don’t be surprised by those who create crises. We live, after all, in a fallen world. Those who create crises, like ancient
Israel, are like a warped bow that twists in the hand of the Divine Archer
(Psalm 78:9, 56-57).
If those who create crises can
remain in the shadows they will be able to continue to do damage. Once you begin to recognize those who create
crises for yourself and others, you will be free to take positive action as you
trust in God. Keep your eyes on Christ
Jesus. Relax. “Peace, be still.” Trust in God will build with a clearer
understanding of the nature and causes of the crises and with a deepened
comprehension of the sovereignty of God.
There is
another facet of crises that should not be ignored. Too often our surrounding
culture operates in a crises mode. “You will hear of wars and rumors of wars.
See that you are not alarmed, for this must take place, but the end is not yet.
[Matthew 24:6]. Jesus was not speaking
metaphorically. His own society was like that. Every society struggles through various
conflicts, and there are forces within each society that want to make those
conflicts the defining quality our lives.
By grace you will learn to deal
with crises, no matter what the source.
God is pleased with our first steps, but first steps are after all, only
first steps. He does not want you to
remain passive in the face of tumult. Surrender is to be followed by obedient
action. He would rather that you move from inward surrender and then learn Holy
Warfare with your eyes on Christ Jesus, “Blessed
be the LORD, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle; he
is my steadfast love and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield
and he in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples under me.” (Ps.
144:1-2 ESV).
Sometimes
we are not able to surrender, but the best we can do is pray, “O Lord, you know
I am not willing to surrender, but I’m willing to be willing. Give me the grace
to surrender once more to You. Help me to let go of my tight grip on my life
and the life of others.” Surrender is a gift that comes from without. You have
to ask for it.
When you have made again your
surrender, the time has come to put on the whole armor of God. Fasten on the belt of truth. Love truth and boldly speak it. Put on the breastplate of the righteousness
of Christ. Let His righteousness become
your righteousness. Take up the shield
of faith and actively use it. A good
shield is a weapon as well as a source of protection. Take up the helmet of salvation. Let your salvation protect your mind. Take up the sword of the Spirit, and become
skilled in its use (Ephesians 6:10-18). Speak the truth, wield the sharp sword
of the Spirit which is the Word of God.
Keep your eyes on Christ
Jesus. Running the way of God’s
commandments is not a matter of passivity, but a natural and active response to
the enlarged heart. There is an old
expression, more often used of women than of men, that says, “She has a heart
as large as all outdoors.” We are all to
have an enlarged heart; we are predestined to be conformed to the image of
God’s Son. We are to have Kingdom Hearts,
hearts as large as the heart of the King.
As our hearts enlarge we begin to run, not walk, in the way of God’s
commandments.
What is intended is not mere
conformity to both the negative and positive proscriptions of the Holy
Scripture, but conformity to the heart of the God Who is both loving and
holy. This active and joyfully willing
conformity of the heart to the heart of the Living God follows an incarnational
principle; that of God working in and through human flesh. Work out your own salvation in fear and
trembling, knowing that it is God who works in you both to will and to work for
His good pleasure (Philippians 2:13).
The one whose heart has been enlarged is ready to run in the way of
God’s commandments; he is the one prepared to take the positive responsive
actions necessary, hand in hand with the Master of Storms.
Dom Anselm + Oblate, OSB.
